The Power of Who by Bob Beaudine
Welcome to Business Book Club! I'll be providing some of the highlights I took away from reading this book and then you can decide if you want to pick up your own copy!
Published in 2009, The Power of Who: You Already Know Everyone You Need to Know by Bob Beaudine challenges widely held beliefs about networking. Bob (I can call him Bob, right?) outlines how to utilize the relationships you have already established to reach your dreams. Find out how below:
Chapter 1 - Whatever I'm Doing, It's Not Working
A small change in strategy makes all the difference.
In the midst of our full schedules and demanding priorities the power of forgetfulness rolls into our minds causing us to forget the truly important things in life.
Don't be discouraged when a door is closed. It's simply a message telling you this isn't the right one for you. Stay alert. There's another 1 opening that will lead you to something better.
You are heading somewhere right now. Do you like your current direction? Who is steering the ship of your life? Do you have a firm grip on the wheel or have you been on auto pilot?
Chapter 2 - The Discovery
You already know everyone you need to know.
If you really want to pursue a goal or make a significant change in your life go to the people you know. You already know someone right now who knows the person who will help you achieve your goal or hire you or introduce you to the person you need to meet.
Beginning is the key to everything. It could be as simple as an introduction. If you lack courage, take those first steps and things will start to fall into place. List who you would call for assistance.
How is it we enjoy helping our friends but won't let them enjoy helping us? Big mistake. All successful people ask for help.
Most of us go through life with the misconception that our dreams and goals can be accomplished without any help from others. You need coaches, teachers, mentors, parents, and friends for help and advice.
Everyone in your network has their own network and every on in that network has their circle of friends and on it goes.
Make sure you lean on the right people in your time of need. You have to implement the 3 R's: Remember, Reach out and Reconnect.
80% of available jobs never get advertised because personal references from friends or friends of friends make the biggest impact on who gets the job.
Chapter 3 - Your "Who" World
Most of us don't even think about our closest friends as possible resources when it comes to pursuing our dreams and goals. We tend to compartmentalize our lives into personal and professional. Most people rarely think of their friends as conduits to achieving their dreams and goals but friends are wired with a strong desire to help us. What if they actually had the power to cause something big to happen for us? Each of these people have their own special sphere of influence.
Inner circle: Select 12 of your closest friends - those who know about your dreams. Choose 3 more close friends and one best friend.
Friends: These people share your core values and the only thing keeping them from being part of your inner circle are proximity, opportunity and time.
Allies circle: People you associate with, connect with our touch through your Who Friends and Inner Circle. You may not go to coffee with them but they are allies. It could be a neighbor, uncle, coach, or friend of a friend.
Advocates circle: People you do or don't know (but who know you) who act as advocates on your behalf. People watch you and your business. Your reputation alone may open doors.
Acquaintance circle: One big mistake people make is creating the illusion of friendship with people who are acquaintances.
Fans circle: Enthusiastic devotee, follower or admirer. You need boundaries around yourself to keep fans at bay.
Chapter 4 - "What" Do You Want?
Meeting a goal does not come easy. There is a price to pay in terms of time and effort. Many people give up before they reach their goal. The biggest reason is fear of failure, they don't ask, they ask the wrong people and/or they're too vague with their ask.
Many people never decide what they want to do in life and when they become overwhelmed by the number of choices, they lose hope at finding that "one thing" they were meant to do.
If you have to give up love,or others suffer so you can make it to the top, it's not worth it.
Go on a wilderness journey alone to disengage and quiet your mind so you can think reflectively. Questions to ask yourself:
What was it you always wanted to be growing up? Is that dream still alive? Is it realistic or can it change into a new dream?
Do you have the skill today to accomplish the dream? If not, can you acquire it within a reasonable time frame through additional training?
Are you where you want to be? Live in a place you love and be with friends you want to be with.
Do what you love, with those you love, in a place you love, that your family also loves and doing all of the above for the right reasons.
Whether you are straight out of college or an older, more experienced person, don't wait for someone else to come along to make your dream come true. Get in the game and play like you know what you're doing.
Create your "40 List":
Create a dream wall that says what you want to do and accomplish in life. It needs to be on a changeable surface like a whiteboard and should be able to be viewed by your "Who" list. This is a simple To-Do list that will act as a daily reminder for whatever it is you want to accomplish. When you are focused, you can bring passion to what you want, which is attractive to hiring managers.
As part of the research, find specific companies and identify the person you would report to. Now call your "Who" friends and ask if they know anybody on your list. They may not know anyone on your list, but could know a key person in a similar organization. Be receptive to what they have to say.
Chapter 5 - Lists and Instructions Are Not Your Enemy
The makings of a good list:
Dream It - Let your imagination take hold. Write it in a journal. Look for patterns. Listen and trust your instincts.
Believe it - Believe the seeds you sow will reap a harvest. If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done before.
Have confidence in it - Life would be easier if you didn't have to make so many decisions. If you don't decide who and what you want to be or are not willing to pay the price to get there, then somebody else will handle those things for you. Presentation is everything and you must be confident. Be resolute and courageous in the execution of your list.
Do it. Without action, all great ideas are useless. Successful people share five simple traits:
They start. " Yard by yard, life is hard; inch by inch, it's a cinch." Set your course and stick to it, even in the face of adversity. If something doesn't work, try something different.
They are not discouraged by obstacles. Dreamers consider obstacles part of the process of where they need to go. View them as springboards to bigger and better opportunities. Ask for help.
They turned mistakes and so called failures into stunning success. The best of the best never run from failure. They analyze the causes and make sure mistakes aren't repeated.
They maintain self discipline. Chip away at your goal a little bit every day until it's finished.
Stick to it. Most people give up too soon. Proactively working toward achieving a dream is a process of trial-and-error, setbacks and dead ends, disappointments and discoveries. The dream has to be its own reward.
Chapter 6 - Life Provides Clues
Be open to hearing those clues.
When you lose your footing, it feels like your world is turned upside down. It's easy to temporarily lose your confidence and do stupid things. Don't let things that may look like your salvation be just another detour that leads you away from your dream.
Clue 1 - The recurring dream. A desire that's always been there and keeps resurfacing- don't push them down or forget them. There will be those who don't like change - don't let them extinguish your dream.
Clue 2 - Gifts and talents. Talk to your "Who" regarding their perspective on your gifts and talents.
Clue 3 - Birds of a feather. Who are your fellow seekers? Some are at the same level, some are there to open doors and some are there for you to help.
Clue 4 - Rejection. Some will think you don't belong and you won't win them over. Not your people. Go where you're celebrated not just tolerated.
Clue 5 - Do what you love. Don't try to become someone or something else for which you aren't suited because you need money, want to be somebody else or because somebody else told you what to do.
Do you long for something more? What do you want to do? What do you love? Look for holes in the market. Sometimes you have to do things you've never done before. How badly do you want it?
Chapter 7 - Reworking You and Your "Who"
When what used to work in your life is no longer working? You have to look at the seven components involved in reinventing your life period
Reevaluate your circumstances. A once healthy and beneficial lifestyle can turn toxic when your life circumstances change significantly. Take a time out to reevaluate and make need course corrections. Do not continue to plow ahead with the assumption that things will work out.
Re assess your influences with what you read, what you listen to and "who" your friends are. Evaluate the residualin fact that your relationships have on you.Are they draining, neutral, or replenishing?
Tell yourself the truth. Challenge self defeating thoughts.
Cultivate your who. The top 3% of sales people learn to focus on their special 100 because they buy more, upgrade. , introduce you to their friends who will also buy and tell your boss you're the best. This is in contrast to spending energy going after the next 100. To cultivate your who? Call a friend and invite them to eat, To a ball game or another event period just start getting reinvolved in the lives of your who.
Multiply your who. The best sales reps intentionally help and assist in any way they can. Those friends tell their friends et cetera. Sales is about making friends 1st because friends will do business with you.
Invest in your who. Look at the people who are actually impacting your life in significant ways. Cited reading: The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.
Chapter 8 - Use Your "Who" to Market You
When it comes to connecting your dreams and goals, the "Who" always comes before what.
It's all about creating relationships.
People are bridges you must cross to get where you want to go.
You are a product and the best products aren't sold, they are bought. Meaning, you need a stellar reference from one of your "Who" friends to land your dream job.
Don't make these interviewing mistakes:
Giving too much information, materials, experience and stats. Interviews are really about meeting you and getting to know you on a personal level. What kind of leadership qualities and passion do you possess?
Don't bombard people with endorsements by having acquaintances make phone calls to the hiring manager.
The interview is not all about you, your qualifications and your record of achievements. Connect with people in the organization in order to land the job. When they like you, they'll hire you because they think others will like you. So know when to keep quiet, back off and let other people work for you. Finally, make sure you smile with a positive attitude.
Don't show you want something too much, or your odds of getting it go down significantly.
Additional tips for dream job interviews: Come prepared, have great references, focus on the first 5 minutes, shake hands focusing on each individual you meet. Interviewers will want to know you, gauge if they like you, consider if you understand their needs and if you are the best fit for the role. Most of the time a candidate wins the job because they like you, but don't try too hard. Each job has at least one technical requirement for success - know what that is and focus on it. Tell great stories but be brief. Be authentic. Important factors in the final decision include confidence, leadership, trust, passion, humor, integrity, character, loyalty, desire and interest to increase knowledge.
Chapter 9 - Mirroring, Mentors and a "Personal Board of Directors"
Model yourself after successful professionals while developing your own style. It takes want, coupled with action.
Select a mentor, a person who has been in your shoes before and already achieved the results you desire. Look to your boss, your boss's boss, a neighbor, member of your church, former sorority member, consultant, a recently retired CEO, etc.
Paths to failure are wider, well worn and offer less resistance. You need your own personal board of directors, consisting of these people in your Top 100:
Best friend - the one that tells you what you need to hear.
Legal counsel - When it comes to legal matters, rely on experts.
Career or life coach
These advisers help design, guide and encourage you to believe in yourself, press your limits, reach for the stars and discover your dreams.
Chapter 10 - Detours vs. Dream Killers
It never fails, people who move in the direction of their goals encounter a few roadblocks and give up often before something great was just about to happen. Even though they desperately want to succeed, deep in their heart they never really expected it to happen.
A detour is not permanent - it is a necessary but temporary side route. View it as an opportunity in disguise.
Dream killers are harder to spot but include self talk (question if it is true? Don't live in the future or the past.), double mindedness (undecided or uncertain), lack of competency (ask what it takes to be the best, set goals and master the ranks) and lack of authenticity.
Chapter 11 - Moment Makers
"Destiny disguised as spontaneous moments has a way of disregarding your current personal agenda to make necessary course corrections. These unexpected serendipitous interruptions are designed to have the delightful effect of redirecting your trajectory. Sometimes these corrections aren't readily apparent."
You have the power to open the door to someone else's dreams just by believing in them and letting them know.
Show people you care - celebrate, encourage and help others to establish stronger bonds of friendship. When you do something good for another, it creates a desire in them to reciprocate.
The top two reasons for enduring happiness are gratitude and giving. Don't be fooled into pursuing position, power or money.
Think of times in your life that were difficult and someone helped you just because. Step outside your comfort zone, even when it's inconvenient, to be a "moment maker" for others.
Thanks for reading! To get your own copy of The Power of Who by Bob Beaudine, click here.